If you identify with any of the scenarios above then let me offer some thoughts that can put you on the road to healing:

• Forgiveness is an act of volition, it is not a feeling
• Forgiveness is not one of many options, it is the only option
• Forgiveness is not for the one who committed the offense, it is for you

What are the roadblocks to forgiving someone?

• You have an incorrect view of God
• Because of that you have an incorrect view of the one who offended you
• And also because of an incorrect view of God you have an incorrect view of yourself
• And finally you have an incorrect view of sin (your own sin in particular)

An incorrect view of God means that you have made him less than he is. As a result you have elevated the person with whom you’re having conflict to a position outside of God’s control and have elevated yourself to a position greater than God. But most importantly you have diminished the severity of your own sin for which you, as a Christian, have been forgiven in full.

Fundamentally this is about the Lordship of Jesus in your life. Jesus chose to forgive you even before you asked for forgiveness. Your ability to appropriate forgiveness is not considered by God in how you ask (you don’t have to beg) but upon the selfless act of Jesus. Every argument you will come up with that allows you to not forgive an offense against you is in direct conflict with the Lordship of Jesus in your life.

Choosing to forgive is an act of faith that says loudly and clearly that you believe God is right, period. Just as your salvation is an act of you submitting your life to God so is every spiritual transaction that you will ever make going forward.

What will you gain by forgiving?

• Peace in your life and home (even in the midst of difficult circumstances)
• A proper and healthy view of the one who offended you (even in the midst of difficult circumstances)
• An energized faith as you see how faithful God is to empower you to love and hope when both seem impossible (even in… well, you know)
• And more!

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When one carefully considers the birth of Christ, he must be filled with amazement. The whole event is filled with both symbolism and meaning.

Jesus having had a supernatural conception, was born of a virgin with God as His father and Mary as His mother.

Jesus was the Lamb of God and as such was born in a stable.

Jesus was the Great Shepherd who fed His sheep and as such was laid in a manger where the flocks were fed.

Jesus was attended by the shepherds who tended their flocks on the hillsides by night. The sheep tended by the shepherds were the temple flocks that were used for temple sacrifices.

Jesus was wrapped in swaddling clothes. It was customary that people were wrapped in the same clothing as babies that they were later wrapped in for burial.

Jesus was proclaimed by angels who guarded Him in life, watched over His death, opened His tomb, and finally, attended His ascention.

Jesus was sought by the wise men who recognized and proclaimed Him as King.

The above observations are to stimulate your thinking while you are in the midst of holiday hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. It might be well to sit and consider some of the factors concerning the birth of Jesus; to see with new eyes their significance in His life and our salvation.

Jeff

More significantly and for our purposes here, I am concerned about those that are locked into a static condition; those that are on high-center and never rising above mediocrity in their existence. Although I have known some that didn’t want to be different from what they were, content to remain in a comfortable and static mode, most desire a more potent and successful existence.

Recently, I have given serious thought to characteristics that seem to be present in an effective church; those that cause it to be great at living out the Great Commission. Following are some thoughts that might stimulate your thinking as it has mine.

Regardless of their theological and experiential backgrounds, those who take the commands of Christ seriously will soon come to a point of realizing that on their own, they cannot effectively fulfill them. It is only when a church realizes how impotent that it really is and becomes corporately broken before the Father, that it will realize the bankruptcy of human effort and achievement. It is then that it will begin to receive the power to be effective that only the Holy Spirit can provide.

To write a history of the effectiveness of the early church is to write a history of the moving of the Holy Spirit in that little body of believers. In fact, over the years, many have referred to the Book of Acts as “The Acts of the Holy Spirit.” What a stark contrast there is between what the early disciples were before and what they became after they were filled with the Holy Spirit! Certainly our devices and strategisms of the twenty-first century have not caused us to be more effective than they were in those powerful times. Like they were their times of desperation after the commissioning of our Lord and before the coming of the Holy Spirit in power, so are we today. Times, needs, and opportunities are far greater than we have experienced in our generation. We are in a time when we need, like Jehoshaphat, to set ourselves to seek the Lord. “And Jehoshaphat feared, and set himself to seek the Lord, and proclaimed a fast throughout all Judah” (2 Chronicles 20:3).

I have never seen a church that was humbled and broken before God that did not rise up out of their despair to go on in the freshness of His moving. Such, I believe, were the early church.

It is in the light of the model of the early church and its powerful successes that I want to offer the following attributes that were so powerfully evident in who they were, what they did, and what they offered those that surrounded them:

1. They presented a COMPELLING REASON for the people around them to attach themselves to them, first through accepting Christ, then through baptism, and ultimately drawn by and committed to the dynamic of their fellowship. “And they continued stedfastly in the apostles’ doctrine and fellowship, and in breaking of bread, and in prayers. Praising God, and having favour with all the people. And the Lord added to the church daily such as should be saved” (Acts 2:42; 47)

Every church is distinctive in what it offers the community surrounding it. It is a mistake for any given church to mimic another church that has proven to be successful in its ministry. As a local church submits to Christ as the Head, He in turn works in that body to develop in it certain and particular attributes. With the development of its own personal identity, a church will offer to the people of its community a COMPELLING REASON to be a part of that church. We can’t help but be reminded of what the disciples asked Jesus, “Then Simon Peter answered him, Lord, to whom shall we go? thou hast the words of eternal life” (John 6:68).

2. The disciples presented a COMMANDING PRESENCE all that they came in contact with. I don’t think we can underplay the importance of the favor that the Father places on His servants. A prime example of that would be how He raised up Joshua from his position as a servant to take the place of Moses: “And the Lord said unto Joshua, This day will I begin to magnify thee in the sight of all Israel (gave him a commanding presence), that they may know that, as I was with Moses, so I will be with thee” (Joshua 3:7).

The early disciples confounded the rulers of the Jews when brought on trial presenting a COMMANDING PRESENCE to them that they were intimidated by and couldn’t refute: “Now when they saw the boldness of Peter and John, and perceived that they were unlearned and ignorant men, they marvelled; and they took knowledge of them, that they had been with Jesus. And beholding the man which was healed standing with them, they could say nothing against it” (Acts 4:13-14). What a contrast! Just weeks before, the disciples had cowered in the darkness; fearful of those who crucified Jesus. On the Day of Pentecost, Simon Peter, transformed from a spiritual pigmy into a royal giant, stuck his fingers in the face of those who were gathered, roaring: “You crucified the Lord of Glory!

Every church should present a COMMANDING PRESENCE to the community around it. Too often we are intimidated and unsure of ourselves when actually we should have the” boldness of Peter and John. People should take note of us that we have been with Jesus!

3. The offered a CONVINCING MESSAGE. I love, in my imagination, to stand on the periphery of the crowd listening to Simon Peter preach his first great message after the birth of the church. The crowd, some of which had been calling for Barabbas to be released and Jesus to be crucified stood, transfixed by the sight, sounds, and message of salvation preached so powerfully by Peter. “Now when they heard this, they were pricked in their heart, and said unto Peter and to the rest of the apostles, Men and brethren, what shall we do? This was a convincing message.

4. They were a COMMITTED FELLOWSHIP. A keystone in the list of priorities of the newly developing church was the fellowship that they experienced. This particular kind of fellowship is known as the “koinonia.” They fellowship the disciples enjoyed with each other was a far cry from the disturbing events that occurred on the night before Jesus was crucified: “And there was also a strife among them, which of them should be accounted the greatest” (Luke 22:24).

With this and other events that seemed to surely to divide and destroy the fledgling body, they were brought back to their knees, “These all continued with one accord in prayer and supplication, with the women, and Mary the mother of Jesus, and with his brethren” (Acts 1:14).

A dominating characteristic of their fellowship was reiterated many times in the course of those early days. We should take note: “These all continued with one accord.” These precise words were used repeatedly through Acts to illustrate the kind of fellowship the disciples had. In a discourse in Philippians, Paul phrased it well: “Fulfill ye my joy, that ye be likeminded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind” (Philippians 2:2), in other words, be a COMMITTED FELLOWSHIP.

5. All of this together produced CONCLUSIVE EVIDENCE that Jesus was indeed Lord and Savior. Too often we get the cart before the horse, trying to convince others of their need for Jesus when we don’t have things together in our own lives and in the fellowship of the church. People require reality, truthfulness, and consistency before they will hear and heed our message. There is much work to be done in the average church if it is to manifest the proper attributes to the on-looking public. Peter said it well: “Since you have purified your souls in obeying the truth through the Spirit in sincere love of the brethren, love one another fervently with a pure heart” (1 Peter 1:22).

History will not think well of us if we do not rise to the occasion that these days present. Most of us have not seen such opportunity for us to example Christ as is presented us today. It seems to me that the public in general is demanding a manifestation of these power attributes by every church of every community. The churches that are the most overtly successful in manifesting these and other attributes will be the ones that our Lord can trust with the greater things of His Kingdom.

People are looking for a church where their needs will be met. We, indeed, must present them with convincing arguments as exemplified by our faith and fidelity, thus powerfully drawing them to our churches.

Jeff

I was sitting this morning looking through our large twin glass patio doors watching the birds gather at the bird feeder I had placed in the patio behind our townhouse. Dominate among the birds which gathered were the sparrows. I looked through my bird book and discovered more species of sparrows than any other bird. They are essentially worthless. They are considered to be pests in the yard, field and wherever they are. I have never seen anyone keep one as a pet in a cage or otherwise. In the quoted scripture its price on the open market was the equivalent of two for a penny or virtually of no worth.

Who cares anything about a sparrow? Many people struggle with the issue of self-worth–having a sparrow mentality. Feelings of inferiority and rejection often rise up to cloud their relationships with others, impede creativity and achievement plus damage their attitude toward themselves and their sense of fellowship with God. In this scripture Jesus makes an amazing assertion–God cares for the sparrow! Why in the world would God create anything as worthless as a sparrow? What value is it to anyone or anything? What can it do to prove its worth? Amazingly enough it doesn’t have to prove anything. It exists because of the Father and for the Father. We note in Genesis 1 that God spoke of everything He created as being good. It was good in the Father’s eyes to create you! Jesus assured: ‘Fear not, therefore; ye are of more value than many sparrows’ (Matthew 12:7b). A person should realize his existence is because of the Father and for the Father–regardless of the conditions involved in his birth, the configuration of his physical being, his background or his stature in society. Like the sparrow he doesn’t have to prove anything to anybody. His value is in the fact he exists.

The Father watches over the sparrow. This scripture teaches how infinitely and intimately God knows not only the needs of His creations but their welfare. His omniscience, sovereignty and compassion for us as His creatures are beyond compare. If God cares in such a minute fashion for something which is, in the eyes of man, so inherently worthless, how much more does He care for us? The Psalmist realizes His infinite care by saying: ‘I waited patiently for the Lord, and he inclined unto me, and heard my cry. He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet upon a rock, and established my goings. Ane he hath put a new song in my mouth, even praise unto out God; many shall see it, and fear, and shall trust in the Lord’ (Psalm 40:1-3).

When a sparrow falls the Father knows and cares. In the classical Greek, the word translated ‘fall’ has several interesting connotations:

1) It can refer to a simple fall, i. e. ‘falling over one’s feet!’ If our Father knows and cares when we fall physically, how much more does He care when we fall spiritually. There is a multiplicity of reasons why a person can fall. Scriptural reasons include: vanity, greed, lust, unforgiveness, self-centeredness, disobedience, etc. Amazingly enough, as pictured by the Father of the prodigal son, our Father genuinely cares and personally initiates situations in life that cause us to return to Him.

2) It can refer to ‘tripping up: ‘a fall over something that gets in our way. I know many people who are not going on with God because of ‘things’ that got in their way causing them to trip–to fall down. Such things can be wrong doctrines, wrong ambitions, wrong values, wrong companions, wrong desires and a multitude of other things that can trip us up. Our Father has not seen fit to remove the impediment but rather chooses to lift us up when we fall–helping us to identity the things that trip us up.

3) It can express ‘falling in warfare.’ The spiritual landscape is littered in this day by the many who have fallen in the fray of battle. There are times when the conflict grows intense both inwardly and outwardly causing a person to ask: ‘what’s the use? Who cares?’ It is easy to feel that God has forsaken us. Be assured, He hasn’t.

4) Falling under a load of debt. Our Father is committed to our economic welfare. He cares and makes provision–If we are faithfully obedient to Him.

There are other usages of the ‘falling’ in the scripture but these illustrations help us understand something of our Father’s commitment to us. If He is aware of something as worthless as a sparrow falling–Is it possible He cares more about us?

In New Testament Greek, the term translated ‘to fall’ has two primary meanings:

1) An unintentional fall. Nobody with any spiritual sense would consciously do those things that would contribute to his ‘intentional fall’ or spiritual declension. The little things carelessly attended contribute to the larger issues of fellowship and ultimate backsliding. We should be reminded that backsliding is not necessarily an open manifestation–initially. It is contributed to by carelessness, disobedience and lack of commitment.

2) An intentional fall. The way up is the way down. James said: ‘Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and he shall lift you up’ (James 4:10). As we fall prostrate before Him in humility, worship, praise, submission and repentance, He will lift us up.

It is the desire of our Father that we realize who we really are and, putting away things which distract, walk in love, faithfulness and obedience before Him. He Who cares for sparrows, cares for you.

Jeff

My concept of encouragement is to help people discover the pitfalls in their lives and show them what to do about it. Otherwise, I’m trying–somewhat futilely–through good words and an emotional ‘zapping,’ to get people up and moving who are struggling with every step they take.

When I was ill, part of the therapy I received was chemotherapy. The particular chemo I had was intended to destroy the white blood cells to give my kidneys an opportunity to rejuvenate and to heal. (Dead white blood cells were clogging the tiny arteries of my kidneys–a typical symptom of the disease). The chemo was indiscriminate, killing my hemoglobin along with my white blood cells. My hemoglobin became so low that they had to give me a transfusion at one point to try to raise it. Because it was so low, I couldn’t function. I was so weak I could hardly get out of my chair.

Well-meaning people encouraged me to do all kinds of things, including starting a walking regimen, believing it would rebuild by strength. In spite of their well-meaning suggestions, what they suggested was impossible. My inability to walk and lack of strength were not due to a lack lack of resolve but rather due to other factors.

When that problem was finally addressed (by my receiving very expensive Hormone shots to rebuild my hemoglobin) my strength started coming back and then I could walk and do these other things

Many try to encourage people who are experiencing a deprivation of spiritual ‘hemoglobin’ into activity by using all kinds of motivational devices (rationalizations, emotional underpinning, etc.). This is predicated on the belief that if we can say just the right thing they will be able to get up and go on with their lives and ministries. It won’t work. There is always a reason why they can’t or won’t function as they could or should. Our role is to be wise, perceptive and loving enough to discover precisely what went wrong in their past and to be equipped enough to do something about it. The issues of the past are always the culprits no matter how recent were the things that went wrong in their thinking.

One’s past inevitably controls his perception of the present and his expectations about the future. The problems people have are not the troubles they face. Their problems lie in their thinking, not in their performance or circumstances. Their problematic thinking is always a product of their belief system. As circumstances and encounters occur that negatively impact a person, his perceptions of what happened, coupled with the memory of the offense associated with it, modify (sometimes subtly) his system of beliefs. His beliefs control what he thinks and what he thinks control his attitudes and actions. Consequently, a person who has previously been active and vital, will begin a spiritual slump and slide that progressively takes him to the bottom.

To offer encouragement alone, is simply not enough. There is always a deeper reason for the way people are and what they have become. Our work as believers is to help them discover what it is in their lives that contribute to their spiritual lethargy. There are several components required if one is to be of help, among which are:

1. Getting involved. All too often we ‘write people off,’ being somewhat judgmental concerning their attitudes, motivations and even their love for Christ, when they don’t perform as we think they should. It takes compassion and courage to get involved with people with the intent to help them get freedom. One should be cautious that he doesn’t take on himself the same spiritual virus infecting the one he is trying to help.

2. Offering help, not platitudes. So many of the motivational systems connected with the kingdom involve platitudes that have little or no permanent impact in one’s life. The remarks of Jeremish when he castigated the prophets of Jerusalem typify such platitudes: ‘They have healed also the hurt of the daughter of my people slightly, saying, Peace, peace; when there is no peace’ (Jeremiah 6:14). I call platitudes ‘Band-Aid’ solutions. They need help in the form of Godly solutions–not platitudes!

3. Standing in the gap for them. God spoke through Ezekiel saying: ‘I sought for a man among them, that should make up the hedge, and stand in the gap before me the land’ (Ezekiel 22:30). The gap was a breach in the defenses of a city. Often the citizens of a city would plant a thick hedge of thorny bushes around the city for protection. When a section of the hedge died out or was taken out, it left a gap (a breach) through with the enemy could gain access to the city. God was looking for people who would ‘stand in the gap to protect the city while he rebuilt the hedge.

God is looking for people who will stand in intercessory prayer in behalf of others who are struggling with their lives and commitments. These people–who stand in the gap–are called ‘The repairer of the breach’ in Isaiah 58:12.

4. Loving them through their problems. I have had more than one person to express appreciation for the fact that I didn’t give up on them. Sometimes it is hard to persevere in love when the people we deal with aren’t always necessarily lovable. To love like this is to have the Jesus kind of love–not the ‘because of’ or ‘if’ kind of love. His kind of love was the ‘in spite kind of love.’ Aren’t we glad He has loved us through the rough points of our lives with His kind of love?

5. Being discerning. One of the manifestations of the holy Spirit is the ability He gives to discern that which is in the heart of another. The reason for such discernment is to enable us to pierce the darkness of one’s heart, helping to bring to the surface the struggles that must be addressed. A caution: don’t mistake judgmentalism for discernment.

6. Being equipped to help them. Nothing is so defeating as to try to help a person when we don’t know what to do or how to do it. Equipping for specific and direct personal ministry must not be an option for a church and its believers–it is a must! Samuel asked: ‘What meaneth then, this bleating of the sheep in mine ears’ (1 Samuel 15:14)? It is the secret heart-cry of God’s people saying, ‘See me, hear me, help me, I hurt!’ We are surrounded by such cries.

God grant us the ears, the heart and the compassion to do the work of the ministry.

Jeff

I have heard it said that the measure of the prophet is manifested in his third generation–his spiritual grandchildren. That, in essence, was what Paul said to Timothy: ‘When I call to remembrance the unfeigned faith that is in thee, which dwelt first in thy grandmother, Lois, and thy mother, Eunice; and I am persuaded that in thee also’ (2 Timothy 1:5).

It takes time for the values, spirituality and mission of a person to become fully blown and tested. The full caliber of Moses was realized in Joshua. The heart that was in David was demonstrated in Solomon. The ultimate worth of the person is manifested in his disciples.

Wisdom is developed over a period of time as a result of many different factors. A person isn’t born with wisdom. ‘Foolishness is bound in the heart of the child’ (Proverbs 22:15a). Worldly wisdom is the result of experimentation, failure, success and evaluation. It doesn’t come over night. As Abba Eban, an Israeli politician said, ‘History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives’ Fortunately, there have been ways to record and preserve the collective wisdom of the ages. Some things we have learned well but in others, we have miserably failed. Every war is the result of the failure of wisdom to be justified in her children.

‘True wisdom is the meshing of human faculties with divine resources for the efficient and effective pursuit of Godly living.’ Godly wisdom is important and valued when it is discovered. Unfortunately, we live in an age when we bow at the throne of ‘human knowledge.’ Knowledge without the moderating and purging effect of wisdom can be very destructive.

‘Wisdom’ in today’s text is from the Greek word ‘sophia’ meaning insight into the true nature of things. It seems that much of our thinking is based on wishful thinking on the one hand or corrupted thinking on the other. Either of which is destructive. When a person has ‘sophia’ he has the ability of penetrative thinking. He can see into the ‘inner workings’ of motives, values, plans and ideas. With it he is able to determine a correct path through the ‘land mines’ of modern cultural values and ideals.

No matter how much the wise person is scoffed at and derided, he will eventually be justified. In this sense, the word ‘justify’ has the idea of being proven right. Wisdom is proven by the accuracy of her pronouncements. Time and trial alone are the proper purifying furnaces to prove those things which are worthy and true. All too often, ideas and ideals which seem so certain and correct today are proven to be wrong in the crucible of time.

In this scripture, there is some debate whether the proper word is ‘children’ or ‘works.’ I prefer the concept of children. It offers the idea of the conception, incubation, birth and development of thoughts. Our children are the greatest evaluation of personal wisdom that we have. Not only do they fit the above description but they are the incubators of our thought life.

I am amazed to see in our six children the development of interests, thoughts, values and visions which have been present in us as parents. Things which have been dreams to us have proven to be reality to them.

May God richly and definitively develop wisdom in each of us–to be demonstrated both in our natural and our spiritual children.

Jeff

I was recently questioned as to the condition of the church at large. That’s a very difficult question for me to answer due to the fact that I’m not in contact with every church and secondly, because the true condition of most churches is often hidden under a variety of facades. However, in light of the experiences I have had, I see churches today as fitting in three fundamental categories:

Category 1–the life-giving church: the strong, virile, and powerfully effective church whose impact is compelling and forceful on all fronts;

Category 2–the church that from all outward appearances is smoothly functioning but manifests little of life-giving qualities; one that is operationally smooth but practically ineffective as viewed in the light of its personal performance of the great commission;

Category 3–those churches that obviously have dysfunctional characteristics and may be referred to as being “”at-risk”.” These churches are marked by divisiveness, strife, and are basically unstable.

Anyone who has been around for a while is aware that to some extent all churches are susceptible to disruptive events–some more so than others. Those churches that are the most stable are able to weather greater storms than others, while those that are fragile are prone to be more vulnerable to disruption. The issue at hand has to do with existing conditions within the church that predispose it to disruption and thus cause it to be “at-risk.”

The best example of an “at-risk” church in the New Testament is the church at Corinth. Paul considered that church to be filled with immature believers–babes in Christ: “And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ” (1 Corinthians 3:1).

The Corinthian church was characterized by such spiritually immature behavior as:

• Strife and division

• Factionism centered around certain leaders

• Tolerance in its midst of sexual immorality at its worst

• Abuse of the communion services

• Abuse of spiritual gifts

• Theological confusion

While other characteristics may be contributing factors, strife and divisiveness chiefly characterize the conditions of an “at-risk” church today. It seems that such conditions typify the contemporary church far more than we might imagine.

Paul warned the Ephesian elders of the imminence of such destructive potential when he spoke prior to his departure: “Keep watch over yourselves and all the flock of which the Holy Spirit has made you oversees. Be shepherds of the church of God which he bought with his own blood. I know that after I leave, savage wolves will come in among you and will not spare the flock. Even from you own number men will arise and distort the truth in order to draw away disciples after them” (Acts 20:28-30 emphasis mine). In simple terms, he warned of problems coming to them from both within and without.

Whether the problem is from people within the church who are hungry for power and prestige, or whether it be people from without who have the same appetite, there is an ever-present potential for a power struggle for control in any church but especially in the “at-risk” church. Unfortunately, far too often that struggle becomes focused on the pastor, since it is he who would ultimately stand in the way of such ambitions and is the God-given spiritual umbrella over the church.

Where is the source of such power struggles? One primary source is given in Hebrews 12:15 where the scripture speaks of one in whom the root of bitterness is given full expression: “Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled” (Hebrews 12:15 emphasis mine). One of the characteristics evident in such a person is the poison of bitterness that spreads from person to person (vs. 15).

Whether this person is power hungry, demands more attention than he/she is getting, or has a victim mentality, there is an offense in the making that is almost always derived from him/her. For him/her to be offended does not require an actual offense but simply an opportune moment offering what seems to be a legitimate excuse for it to happen. That offense is not easily resolved. It is rife with demands that cannot be met in spite of the best efforts of those concerned because of the hidden agendas involved. The obvious outcome of such demands quite often affects the unity of the church and many times has the consequence of unseating the pastor.

Unfortunately, the person/persons who precipitate such confusion in the church are often those who are well seated in the church or are attractive people to the constituency. Paul typified them thusly: “By smooth talk and flattery they deceive the minds of naïve people” (Romans 16:18b). Thus, when they voice their conflicts, they are believable and easily find those who will buy into their viewpoint, thus developing their own bitterness and animosity. Because of the insidious process by which the bitterness and unrest is propagated, it results in a type of false discipleship, a discipleship of bitterness and anger in the church

There is a principle built into the human race that is stated thusly: “The weak always seek to dominate while the strong tends to accommodate.” Paul gave instruction regarding our treatment of such people when he said: “The weak that is among you, receive but not unto doubtful disputations” (Romans 14:1). In other words, don’t let them take control by our passivity. It is the immature that that are the most prone to quarrel with those who are in authority–demanding their own ways. Jesus gave a parable of children playing in the marketplace that examples this: they will say: “We have piped unto you, and ye have not danced; we have mourned unto you, and ye have not lamented.”

Immaturity is expressed in a multitude of ways but it is inevitably the immature that are the seedbed for problems in the church. A church that does not have the wisdom and the courage to defend itself against such weakness will fall prey to it. Paul warned us regarding such people: “Now I beseech you, brethren, mark them which cause divisions and offences contrary to the doctrine which ye have learned; and avoid them” (Romans 16:17. Almost always, the pastor becomes the target of such ire. On the other hand, a strong church will not fall prey to such tactics regardless who propagates them but will shield the pastorate, while dealing with the problematic people. It will deal with those who insist on bringing divisiveness into the church before the problem takes root and becomes troublesome.

All too often, churches go blithely about their affairs unaware that the enemy is inducing leaven that will ultimately bring destruction to the body. His favorite tactic is to bring division. Jesus warned that we should be as wise as serpents and harmless as doves. We are to know the devices of the enemy and be equipped and prepared to address them.

We must be wise enough to rise up in the face of divisiveness and address the issues with Godly wisdom and dispatch. The church is too valuable to fall prey to the enemy’s tactics.

I plan to continue this study to accompany a book I am working on under the title of Ministering in an “at-risk” Church. Please pray for me as I attempt this very difficult task. I would appreciate your insight, illustrations and opinions.

Jeff

It is important to understand that there are those people who are the actual sufferers of victimization, i. e. those who have suffered unjustly at the hands of others. They are myriad in the world today as well as in every other age. They are victims of violent crimes, sufferers from oppressive acts, the helpless victims of warfare, etc. These acts constitute man’s injustice to man and inevitably produce those who are victims of such acts and attitudes.

The true victim is one who suffers the indignities of human unfairness without accepting the mantle of perpetual victimhood as an ongoing state of mind. His preoccupation will be to bind up his wounds, to seek rehabilitation, restitution, and retribution where it is merited and to get on with life.

The true victim, however, must be distinguished from those who have “victim mentalities” or what we will refer to simply as being a “victim.” To have the mentality of a victim is to have an outlook on life in which one is constantly seeking reasons to accuse others as being unfair, rejecting or hurtful to him.

Victimhood is defined by how quickly one is to view the acts of others as being indignities, how he reacts, his ongoing preoccupation with the things he believes he has suffered, and by his projection of malicious intents on others with whom he is related in life.

To have a victim’s attitude has little to do with how much one has suffered. In many cases the moment that defined his feelings would have little consequence to him if he were to look back on it from a present perspective. As little seeds produce big trees so one’s perspective of seemingly insignificant events in life can develop into an all-encompassing and destructive view of others, himself, God, and life in general. He is quick to see others as his enemies and, all to frequently, will assign hurtful intents to innocent people and circumstances.

The victim tends to be smothering in relationships, usually trying to gain the undivided attention, devotion, and loyalty of those to whom he is attracted. He will use whatever device that is at hand to try espouse those whom he desires and to cut out those he sees as competitors–even spouses of those with whom he is infatuated.

He will evidence self-pity when he feels he is rebuffed and will seek others to take up his cause as “rescuers.” One who falls into the “rescuer trap” can be deeply snared and it may be years before he sees what has happened to him, often experiencing loss and suffering in his own life because of his error–coming to his senses after it is too late.

The victim is a genuine sufferer but not from the ills that he would imagine. He suffers from low self-esteem, great feeling and fears of rejection, and, quite often, feelings of guilt and condemnation. Unfortunately, he is usually a master at cloaking his feelings and fears–withdrawing in life, pressing forward in an aggressive and assertive fashion, or toggling between both behaviors. Either way, he is destructive to himself and others as long as he persists in his attitudes.

Those who try to help him often become his victims. His demands are rarely satisfied and his needs go beyond the ability of others to fulfill since they are emotionally oriented. Because his attitude is often shaped by the turbulence of his own emotions he becomes a virtual minefield to those around him. He is insistent of his rights, persistent in demanding them and resistant of offers to help him identity what his real need is.

For one to emerge from the snare of his victimhood often requires more that he is willing to see and to do.

Firstly, he must see that his feelings are his problems, not the issues and relationships he feels to be his problems. Feelings can be diabolical and very dangerous to the well being of any person unless he faces them and controls them. It is very difficult for people to isolate out their feelings and to attach blame to them rather than to others but that must be his first step if he is to be healed.

Secondly, he must begin to think the thoughts of Christ (through filling his mind with the Word) and to learn to apply the scripture properly to events and relationships that he formerly saw to be hurtful.

Thirdly, he must forgive others for what he has perceived to be their slights, hurtful attitude, and hurtful actions–remembering that most of the things he has accused them of have been perceptual rather than actual. Regardless of whether issues have been perceptual or actual, he must address each of these issues through unconditional forgiveness.

Fourthly, he must accept responsibility for the choices of attitudes and actions he has made and wherever it is needed and justified he must repent of all sin involved–resubmitting his life to the Lordship of Christ.

Fifthly, he must make himself accountable to a wise, responsible, and spiritual person being quick to give account of himself and to follow his counsel.

Usually people who suffer from a victim mentality are good, sensitive, and loving people who, often due to reasons beyond their control, have begun to see their lives as being the product of the injustice of others. The bottom line is, they can only be different and stay different when they see themselves in light of who they are in Christ, submit to Him fully and walk obediently in their daily lives.

Jeff

In the last message I gave some practical, remedial principles designed to remove the emotional, mental and personality roadblocks to an effective marriage. The result generated by the implementation of those principles will provide a clean landscape for other foundations to be laid.

The true test of a marriage is not the emotion attached to it but rather its durability. Durability is the result of effective bonding. The Bible teaches that when God created Eve for Adam, they were made one flesh (bonded). Being made one flesh does not have the sense of being glued together like plywood but rather an integration of personality, representing the truest sense of bonding.

It takes time, either before the wedding or after, for real bonding to take place. Bonding is both a process and a result. At some point in the courtship, there is a mental or emotional interest factor that sets up the bonding equation. Additional factors entering in to enhance it are:

1). The frequency of contact or association. Obviously, if there is only limited contact there would be limited opportunity for the relationship to flourish.

2). The complexity of the relationship. The more we are exposed to others in different settings and in different interests the more there is a connecting with an increasing compatibility of minds and emotions which, in turn, encourage the relationship.

3). The degree of commitment involved between the person. The keystone of a flourishing relationship is trust. Trust can be given but it must also be earned. When there is the commitment to love, trust is given. However, if, over a period of time, the trust is betrayed, an erosion of the bonding occurs causing the marriage relationship to begin to wither.

The bonding, which we normally call ‘love,’ is the essential ingredient of a marriage that endures. Emotions will fluctuate with the stress of making a living and rearing children. The time of the month, the condition of the body, the loss or birth of a vision, etc. all effect how we feel. More than anything else, our relationship with the Lord impacts a marriage relationship.

There are several undergirding principles that provide the basis for endurance to develop:

1). Mutual respect. Respect must be merited. It is possible to lose the respect of one’s mate through carelessness, inconsistency, dishonesty, unfaithfulness, irresponsibility plus numerous other negative factors that any of us could mention.

2). Quality communication. Busyness, demands on time, energy and attention by children and job; the developing of conflicting or separate interests, etc. cause a lack of consistent and quality communication. Without communication the spouses lose essential contact with each other in spite of the fact they live together and do man and wife kinds of things.

3). A mutually defined mission statement for the marriage which reflect the unified vision of both spouses. The mission statement should be enhanced by such things as goals, strategies for accomplishment, evaluations that should be vigorously adhered to.

4). The ability to disagree agreeably. Argumentation is a killer for a marriage. When a couple argue, each is trying to convince the other of his point of view while feeling rejected because the other fails or chooses not to see it. Discussion is a necessity if the marriage is to proceed on well-defined and stable grounds. To fail to discuss is to cause a tilting of the marriage relationship by the dominant spouse producing resentment and bitterness. Each should guard the emotions of the other in such times of discussion. When there is evidence of passion on the part of the other, the discussion should be postponed by mutual consent to be taken up again after more information has been gathered or there is a ‘cooling-off’ time.

5). Responsible handling of money. Money can be a tool or it can be a weapon in a marriage. As a tool (in the Godly sense) it functions as a means of security, advancement and achievement. As a weapon it can be used to control the other, to retaliate or just used foolishly or unwisely.

6). Spiritual agreement and commitment. Without Christ the marriage will ultimately lose something–regardless of what that something is. Marriage is ordained of God and should be conducted in keeping with valid spiritual principles.

7). Sexual responsibility. Sexual relationships are a privilege, a pleasure and a responsible act when the marriage is functioning effectively. Both spouses should be aware and concerned about the inherent differences in the emotional and physical makeup between the spouses and be compassionate, careful and considerate in the relationship.

Hopefully, the sharing I have done today has stimulated your thinking and maybe even spurred you into action in enhancing the quality of your marriage.
Jeff

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Jefferson H. and Norma R. Floyd, CO-directors
Jubilee International, Inc.
P. O. Box 3202
Carmel, IN 46082
Copyright December 2000 By Jefferson H. Floyd. All rights reserved

All of us are prone to illness and all of us have those for whom we care that are also prone to illness. In this message are some very fundamental points I learned while critically ill. I will approach it from the viewpoint of the person who is ill and but it will also be helpful to the caregiver of the person who is ill.

In order to address the subject it is necessary that I share a bit of what I went through in my illness.

I had been having physical difficulty for some time, suffering from pain all over my body plus physical and mental exhaustion. It had gotten so bad that I just sat in my chair all day long and sometimes all night. I had difficulty breathing when I would lie down and I didn’t feel like moving. I had consulted two doctors (in succession) both of whom seemed a little impatient. I soon realized that neither of them had a clue as to what was wrong. It wasn’t until I was so ill that I had spent several hours vomiting, and passing out on each occasion, that my doctor seemed to take me seriously and sent me to the hospital emergency room. There, after tests, the emergency room doctor came in and announced that my kidneys were shut down. (Up until that point, no urinalyses had been taken.

Subsequently, the nephrologist did a biopsy on my left kidney and confirmed his suspicion that I had a very rare illness of a non-specific origin (they don’t know what caused it), considered to be fatal, called “glumerulonephritis” or “Wegener’s Disease.” My doctor gave me my chances of survival and put me on chemotherapy (the disease is not cancerous) and after a week, sent me home. That began a long siege of weekly blood tests and doctor’s visits. I was in the hospital five times and made visits to the emergency room six times over the next year and a half. At one time I had ten different specialists representing different fields of medicine testing me. I was given over forty different prescriptions. I had the feeling that I was a guinea pig. I stayed on chemo for a total of fifteen months. Additionally, I was given very large doses of Prednesone. Chemo does devastating things to the body and Prednesone has its own array of side effects that are debilitating. After about three years of illness (one and a half before diagnosis and a year and a half on therapy) all the numbers on my blood tests consistently showed good and I was considered to be in remission (the disease is thought to be incurable).

Throughout my illness and treatment I tried to stay busy in my ministry but had tremendous difficulty. Every time I would go out in a seminar I would end up in the hospital or the emergency room after I got home (ended up in the hospital in Missouri on one occasion, and two other occasions while out of town since then). It was a very difficult and devastating time in my life. I think of it as going through a long dark tunnel in which there is no light–just darkness.

There are several things that I learned from my experience that may be helpful to both the person who is ill as well as those who care for him. They are as follows (each of these should always be contingent on your doctor’s orders):

1. Be informed. I discovered that my doctors would give me very little information about the condition of my body–what to expect and what not to expect–unless I requested it. Get informed. Learn all you can about your disease or condition. The Internet is very helpful in this regard. I didn’t know until recently that the disease I have is considered to be a “two organ” disease–kidneys and lungs. I knew that I had problems with breathing and was very subject to bronchitis but didn’t know that it was a part of my disease. There were other things I wouldn’t have known if it hadn’t been for our good friend, Judy Ebbitt, then of Chicago, who, upon hearing that I was in the hospital, came down to take care of me (she has a master’s degree in medical technology). Judy went to the hospital library and researched the disease thoroughly and gave me a great deal of information about the disease.

2. Don’t give up. There is a time during illness that a person thinks, “What’s the use?” There will be the dark days when your emotions bottom out, the treatment seems to be interminable and everything seems hopeless. One should always remember that the greatest medicine he can take is called “determination.” Determination isn’t bottled nor can it be bought–it’s an attitude. Attitudes are always based on the choices one makes.

3. Get up. Don’t yield to the illness and let it control your body. The easiest thing one can do is to give up. Your body will protest but, within reason, press forward. Find out what you can do and do it. Make it a practice to do just a bit more than you feel like doing. Don’t overdo it. Be wise in the way you spend your energy.

4. Understand that both your illness and the medications you take will affect more than your body. They affect your total personality–mind, will and emotions. Certain medications can cause depression or an unstable emotional condition. Just the presence of disease in your body affects the way you think and your feelings. Learn to understand what you are feeling and try to express your feelings to a responsible and compassionate person. Learn how to bridle your feelings so you will not take them out on the people around you.

5. Don’t expect others to understand what you are going through. They can’t feel your illness with you. Remember that your illness will cause a change in the whole household. It affects everyone. Try to be upbeat and concerned about the welfare of others around you. Don’t focus their attention on you. It will be good for them as well as for you if you can concentrate on them instead of your own illness and misery.

6. Don’t give in to self-pity. You don’t have time for it. Your energy should be devoted to getting well. When you feel sorry for yourself you are needlessly consuming your limited energy. Self-pity is a very poor master and that’s what it will be if you let it. People who are ill tend to be very preoccupied with themselves. It takes effort and determination to rise above that.

7. Have a place of refuge where you can get away from the household bustle. You will discover that your resources are limited and that noise and traffic in the home will be very stressful. If you have a place of privacy–such as your bedroom–where you can close yourself off when you are feeling stressed, you will do much better. Don’t use it as a “pout room” to be used when people don’t treat you as you think they should. Don’t become a hermit, hiding from people. Limit the amount of time you separate yourself from others–if you have a choice.

8. Don’t give in to depression. It is easy to just stay in bed or in your chair and vegetate. If you have a choice, don’t stay in bed. If you have a choice, don’t sit around. Get up (if possible) take your bath, and put on fresh clothing every day. Do you hair, nails, makeup, etc. (if you are a woman). If you are a man, shave and do your hair. Keep your room clean and fresh. Open the blinds and let the light in. Don’t lie or sit in the dark. Establish projects (no matter how limited) for yourself, to be accomplished each day. If the weather permits it, take time to stay outside each day. I had a chair beside the house that I would use to get some sunshine each day. Our two cats were great company.

9. Do your daily Bible readings and pray. It’s OK to pray for yourself but develop a prayer list of others who need your prayer. When we are ill, we tend to be very selfish in our prayers–praying for healing for ourselves. Remember Job: And the LORD turned the captivity of Job, when he prayed for his friends: also the LORD gave Job twice as much as he had before” (Job 42:10). Pray for others. Read God’s promises. Speak positive confessions from the Word.

10. Don’t be impatient with well-meaning friends. They will want to do all kinds of things to help. Faithful people will want to lay hands on you and pray for you. I never refused the prayers of others. Others will have a variety of products that they feel will be of benefit to you if you take them. Use your judgment. Some of the things they suggest may be helpful. Ask your doctor. I asked my doctor if I could take vitamins. He said that it wouldn’t hurt me but it wouldn’t help me either. I got a chuckle out of that. Always use his judgment as long as you stay under his care. Even if things are natural products they can react to medication that you are taking. So be cautious. Your friends will understand your caution.

11. Have a good laugh. It is a medically proven fact that one heals better and faster when he laughs a lot. Laughter seems to loose elements in the body that enable or accelerate its healing. I thrived on the jokes in the Reader’s Digest–boring my family to tears with them. Enjoy life. You can do that and still be ill! According to Proverbs, “A merry heart doeth good like a medicine: but a broken spirit drieth the bones” (Proverbs 17:22 KJV).

12. Don’t believe in illness. What you choose to believe, your body will tend to create. There came a time that I was disgusted with it all. I had been in the hospital for two weeks. I was tired of the damage it had done to me, to my wife, to my ministry, etc. On a given morning, I simply decided that I wouldn’t be ill any longer. I chose not to believe in illness. A great danger that you face when you are ill is to believe in your illness more than you do in health. I chose health and healthy thoughts as my focus in life. I continued to see my doctor and to take all prescribed medicine but instead of believing myself to be ill, I now chose to believe myself to be well. I got up and went to work. It wasn’t easy and things didn’t happen all at once. It was a battle but health began to take over.

If you are ill, remember that Jesus bore your illness in His body on the cross and whatever He bore in His body, you are not required to bear in yours. Isaiah very definitively declared our heritage when he said:

“Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed” (Isaiah 53:4-5 KJV).

Be encouraged, dear friend, there is healing available. Place your confidence in God. He hasn’t forgotten you nor is He unconcerned. Trust Him, for He says “unto you that fear my name shall the Sun of righteousness arise with healing in his wings” (Malachi 4:2 KJV).

Jeff